becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

tables turned

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Sometimes I hear my voice,
and it’s been here,
silent all these years.

I had something really poignant and insightful to write about, I thought of it earlier today while it happened and made a mental note to remember it and write about it tonight.  clearly, my mental notes are not very effective, as I can’t for the life of me recall what it was.

instead, there is this little anecdote…it happened a few days ago, at my gym back home.  I had just finished my workout, and walked into the locker room humming along to the billy joel song playing on my iPod.  there was one other woman in the locker room, and she turned to look at me, and then started talking to me.

her: “are you a new member?”
me: “just here for a few weeks, between semesters.”
her: “oh, I’m one of the trainers…you know, I’ve never seen anybody come in here humming before.  everyone comes in and either gets on the scale and complains, or stands in front of the mirror complaining.  it’s nice to see somebody come in here happy for once!”

it’s taken a few days for the power of this to really sink in.  my initial reaction was to completely disregard it (big deal, so I was humming!; yea well it’s just plain awkward to get on the scale in a public locker room; who the hell is this lady?!).  but as I’ve thought about it more and more…it’s really kind of cool.  and I’m trying to not judge that reaction, and let myself feel good about it.  because I have been that person on the scale wanting to scream, I have been that person standing in front of the mirror scrutinizing every last inch of my body.  I’ve spent hours in that gym and hours in that locker room.  and the vast majority of those hours were NOT healthy.

so it’s kind of cool to be on the other side of that.

correction: it’s REALLY cool.  really freaking cool.  and I’m okay with that.

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Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

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