becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

filter it like coffee

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sometimes I feel like recovery is one big mind game.  the behaviors are one thing, but the mental shit is the real bastard to deal with.

when I’m really solid and strong, I can literally see the thoughts running across my mind’s eye like a teleprompter.  and I can put up the wall that stops them from going any further.  it’s my own mental “bug on the windshield” situation, I guess.

but when things aren’t going so well, I feel like the thoughts are racing by too quickly for me to catch, and before I know it they’re there, embedded in my brain, and I’m all of a sudden buying into them, believing them, almost by default.

I guess sometimes you’re the windshield…and sometimes, you’re just the friggin bug.

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Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

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