everything feels mixed up ad backwards and upside down. but at the same time…there are moments, chunks of time, were I feel, so overwhelmingly, that everything is just as it should be. that everything is right.
I got into UT. I have a place to go for grad school next year.
my recital is a month from tomorrow. I am well-prepared. my dress is a stunner. it’s going to be fine. better than fine.
classes are tough, but good. I’m learning a lot and enjoying myself.
I’m in the most amazing, world-spinning, stomach-dropping, breath-stealing relationship.
and recovery sucks. a whole lot.
I’ve been meaning to write about this, about everything, about anything…for weeks now. I haven’t had the time, haven’t had the energy, haven’t had the desire at any moment when I’ve had the other two.
I need to figure out what I want. some things, I don’t need to figure out. I know they’re just what I need. but other things–grad programs, where I stand with recovery, what I’m doing to get myself through this semester–I need to work through, the sooner the better.
I fly back to CT tomorrow. last flight (of FIVE) this month. exciting. looking forward to spending massive amounts of time…not running from state to state. just…being.