sometimes, a situation has so many things wrong with it that it comes around full circle and works out beautifully.
i’m in this insanely tumultuous point on my life–just finished college, getting ready to move twelve hours away start grad school. plugging away at a recovery that has eluded me for five years.
in the midst of it all, i get involved in my first really serious relationship, and my first relationship with a woman.
on paper, to an outsider, this relationship should not happen. or at the very least, it shouldn’t survive.
we’re two women in recovery. we feel deeply and intensely, struggle and battle our demons ferociously. we think one another is the most beautiful creature on earth, but fight to like or even tolerate ourselves.
i’ve had friendships with other people with eating disorders that quickly turned destructive. this relationship could have very well been the same.
instead, it is the complete opposite.
recovery has become so much more of a priority for me now because i know that without it, i can’t fully exist in this relationship. and i have a partner who knows exactly what i’m going through, the triumphs and the frustrations, because she’s feeling it to in her own recovery.
this is a relationship that a lot of people probably would say should never have happened. but it did. and it’s amazing. and in ten years when we’re in our thirties and juggling work and kids and one another, and school and yoga and teaching, i fully expect to be so caught up in loving life that my eating disorder will only be a faint echo in the distance.