some days, even though you haven’t used a behavior in weeks or months or even years, the need to do so will slam you like a wrecking ball. and even though you know that it’s not the answer, your mind will already be spiraling out of control with the avalanche of thoughts and rationalizations.
recovery has no clear finish line. there isn’t a definitive close, no point in time where you can finally breathe a sigh and say, ‘there. i’ve reached the end and i will never have to worry about this again.’
it’s worth the fight. but sometimes you’re just too damn exhausted to battle.