becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

letter to my yoga class:

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dear monday night yoga class –

i did not want to teach tonight. i was up until 1am, on the phone, deciding to cancel my wedding. i woke up at five and went to the gym. i had a 5-mile run that was painful every moment because my legs are starting to break down less than two weeks before a big race. my patience with my academic students was non-existent, i had zero energy, and felt utterly uninspired.

when i showed up at the studio, one of you was so thrilled to show me your Parsva Bakasana, from both sides – it was your goal to be able to get there this semester, and it was fantastic to see it happen. then another one of you told me right before class that you have been waiting for this all day because you’ve just been so stressed and on edge.

i think that was my turning point. people wait their entire day to come to this class. i need to treat it as such.

we flowed – a pretty standard flow, nothing fancy. we got into Bakasana and FOUR of you tried to shoot back into Chaturanga. usually it’s one or two, but today four of you tried, stutter steps and flops and all. everybody seemed to have taken their adventure pills today.

and that’s how we ended up doing handstand prep, with everybody laughing and willing to be scared and fall. and then came Vrschikasana prep, and one of you – the one who had been waiting for this class all day – did the most beautiful Vrschikasana, with one or two prep kicks and all of a sudden, there you were, and you came back down and your face was red and you dropped to your knees and looked so exhilarated.

there was a lot of sweat but also a lot of laughing. you all reminded me how blessed i am to have been offered the gift of teaching you. as the end of my time here gets closer and closer, you all keep telling me how sad you’ll be once i’m gone, how you don’t want to find another yoga teacher because you’ll miss me and my crazy classes.

you have no idea how much the opposite is true – i will be so sad to leave you. you have brought me far more, i believe, than i have brought you. i’m a better person because of this job – although i very rarely see it as work. and on a day like today, you remind me how life-changing this practice can be.

with lots of love and namaste,
the teacher with the funny accent


Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

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