becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

beauty in the breakdown.


i think the news about roxy was my breaking point. i cried for a good 15 hours, giving myself a headache in the process. and then got out of bed at 8:00 this morning, made myself quasi-presentable (quite a feat when there were intermittent crying jags) and got in the car at ten.

at eleven i was sitting in my hairdresser’s chair, telling her bluntly that i was donating my hair, i didn’t care that i just barely had the minimum length of 10″, and just…let’s go.

my hairdresser is a hoot and i adore her. we talked nonstop the entire hour. i wanted short and funky; that’s damn well what i got. sure, i didn’t change anything about the circumstances surrounding my life. but (a) i donated something i am blessed to have naturally, to an organization that makes it into a beautiful gift for a child who isn’t so lucky; (b) spontanaeity can do the heart good; and (c) it’s less permanent than the tattoo i was also contemplating.

am i any less sad about roxy? no. did this bring my mom back? of course not. but sometimes you just want to not feel like you, even if it’s just for the hour that you’re watching your hair drop to the floor in tufts.

we do what we have to do to survive, to keep going. one foot in front of the other can take you to all the ends of the earth.


Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

6 thoughts on “beauty in the breakdown.

  1. I’m so sorry to hear your news about Roxy girl 😦 It’s heartbreaking, and I cannot believe how strong you are. But let me be totally superficial here for a hot second. Dayum girl. Ya look good with short hair! You rock it, totally 🙂

    • aw, thank you and thank you! it’s SUPER short. and when i have no product in it i look like a ragamuffin little boy. i love everything about it haha.

  2. Hat’s off (or hair off) to you lady. What an amazing selfless thing to do donating your hair to such a good cause. Short hair looks awesome on you. Sorry about your puppy to 😦

    • thank you so much! my hair grows like a weed, so i figured even if i didn’t like it it’ll start growing out quickly! plus, i just pretended i was on ‘america’s next top model’ getting a drastic makeover haha. thank you for the lovely, kind words. : )

  3. As I’ve already said, it is simply not fair that you can look SO gorgeous with long AND short hair. xx

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