becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

rebound.

4 Comments

we all have our own ways of dealing with life. some folks are more resilient than others; some hold grudges; some fear and fight change. regardless, we all take life on our own terms.

a little less than three months after my mom died, my dad started seeing somebody. he has known her for years – they actually dated back before he met my mom – and so he contacted her and found out she lives about 2 hours away. but they got together, hit it off, and have been nearly inseparable since.

the other night he told me that when she moves to florida in november, he’s going with her.

of course this is a lot to handle. i think i’ve been slowly digesting the entire concept since i found out on easter weekend. and while it’s definitely an adjustment…i’m not silly enough to think that either of them have the idea in their heads that somebody can ever ‘replace’ my mom.

yes, maybe this was a quick turnaround. and yes, it sure is shocking to find out that my dad might be moving permanently to florida. but the bottom line is that he’s happy. those days after my mom died, he seemed so lost. somehow he aged ten years overnight but at the same time looked like a little kid (a very tall one) – lost and in pain. he managed and he began to adjust, because that’s how he is – he absorbs what life gives him and makes it work. but when i went home for easter and he told me about this new girlfriend (yes that word still seems strange in reference to my father), he seemed like his old self. some of his twinkle was back.

a week later when we were on the phone he was telling me about her some more, and he said, ‘i really like her, jenny.’ how can i argue, or even think to get in the way of that?

i’ve thought a lot about this. to be upset that this happened so quickly would be the equivalent of saying, ‘i want him to stay sad longer.’ he’s lucky – and by extension, so am i – to have found somebody who he likes so much, and to have found her so quickly. maybe it doesn’t seem right to some people; sometimes when i think about it i feel a stab of injustice for my mom. but we all deal with life differently. life threw my dad and i one hell of a curveball; he did what he always does and kept on keepin’ on. and now that he has this new lease on life, who am i to stand in the way?

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Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

4 thoughts on “rebound.

  1. When my mom’s father began to date after Nana’s death, it was very difficult for me. Intellectually, I knew this woman could NEVER replace Nana and that nobody expected her to. Emotionally, I was instantly like, “Fuck her, I hate her guts, she needs to go away now.” It was such a confusing, and painful thing for me. Other members of the family had an easier time with it. I think because some of them actually *like* the man, but that’s a whole other rant. 😛

    After my aunt died, my uncle was remarried within a matter of months and we were all shocked. But I was able to look at this differently, potentially because I like my uncle. LOL I determined that if this woman was there for him, helped him heal, honored his grief and loss, and is generally a good person (she sure seems to be), then wonderful!

    I think a lot of people have very mixed (and bittersweet) feelings when this happens. I admire your way of seeing this and I really hope you end up liking his new girlfriend and she likes you (I am sure she will). ♥

    • i agree, mixed feelings abound! i haven’t met her yet, but i’m truly looking forward to it. my dad said she *really* wants me to like her – and i’m sure i will, if for no other reason than she makes my dad VERY very happy. (she also tried to convince my dad to keep our puppy – BONUS POINTS in my book!) : )

  2. I’m glad your dad is happy. I am sure your mum would have wanted him to find happiness again too. xx

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