becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

one-two step.


recovery has always been a ‘one step forward, two steps back’ kind of process. recuperating from this surgery seems to be falling along those lines, as well.

after an hour on the phone, mostly on hold, and several insurance, ER, and orthopedic staff members, the grand answer i got yesterday was: go to the ER. again. even though this time it won’t be covered because i only get covered for ‘real’ emergencies.

instead, i showed up at my doctor’s office, which is on the same building as my PT, and sat in the waiting room until somebody would see me or give me a referral to the vascular lab. surprisingly, i saw a doctor within fifteen minutes.

he actually was an awesome guy. he checked me out and said (a) not to worry, it’s not a clot, and (b) it’s actually an irritated nerve. he wrote me a prescription for Neurontin. i started taking it yesterday afternoon and i’m praying it helps.

i went to PT and even though my pain was still high, we got some good work done. mostly strength work, since bending too far makes the nerve spaz out. we did leg presses, calf raises, resistance band work…all things to remind me how far i have come but how incredibly far i have to go.

my right quad and calf are terribly atrophied. my PT even said that for whatever reason, my muscles were affected way more than normal by the nerve block. my muscle tone has deteriorated incredibly rapidly. i have a chicken leg. it’s not cute.

there’s also a chance that, in addition to the nerve, the head of my lateral hamstring is also strained. all due to the same cause, though: my leg being locked straight 23 hours a day, combined with shitty luck and circumstance.

solutions: Neurontin, which should kick in today or tomorrow. unlocking my brace whenever i’m not bearing weight. and hopefully, being able to unlock it to walk – i see the doctor in an hour to see if that get’s the thumbs up.

this is progress. somebody finally listened. there’s a teeny tiny little light at the end of this tunnel.

i need to brace myself for the next setback, as i’m sure it will come.

but this is good. i can do this.

i’ll write about more profound things later today. i haven’t had coffee yet.


Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

8 thoughts on “one-two step.

  1. I am so glad someone listened to you! Good job speaking up for yourself, I’m impressed. 🙂

    Oh and PS- I love Neurontin! I take it 4 times a day! It might help with your sleep too, depending on how much you take, my bedtime dose makes me super drowsy

    • i’ve heard great things about neurontin. the doctors told me it’ll take a few days to build up in my system and start to work, and if it doesn’t help to call in a week and we can adjust the dosage, but i’m really hopeful!

  2. Good job Jenn! I hope your recovery picks up now 🙂 x

  3. I’m so glad it’s not a clot!!! I hope that new drug helps. I like your last line “i’ll write more profound things later.” I’m like that too without coffee. Well, if I have to actually set an alarm.

  4. Girl. You got this. I’ve never doubted your strength for a SECOND.

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