becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

one woman’s trash…


k and i started dating on new year’s, so by the time christmas rolled around we had been together for nearly a year. sometime in mid-november of that first year, i got this e-mail from my mom:

“just finishing up christmas shopping. what size PJs for k? does she eat at panera too? i’m so excited  have two girls to buy for!”

which is how we came to look like this on christmas morning of 2010:

k’s face is blurred out to protect her anonymity, not because i’m having an ‘erase my ex from my life’ moment. and you already know what my mug looks like.

my mom loved k very, very much. she loved us together, loved how happy we were. one year to the day from when my mom posted this photo, i woke up at 5:32am to a phone call from my dad, telling me that she was dead.

this afternoon before i got to the gym i was on the phone with k, and she told me how she recently spent the last of the panera gift card my mom had gotten her as one of her christmas gifts this past year. as is usually the case with a used-up card, when the teller finished the transaction she tossed the card in the trash.

k asked her to get it for her and give it back – she wanted to keep it.

i don’t know if, as i was driving home after my workout, i cried more because i miss my mom or because i was so deeply touched by what k told me. my mother was so special…it makes me heart smile, even if it’s a sad smile, to know that others see that, too.


Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

6 thoughts on “one woman’s trash…

  1. oh. That was both lovely and sad. I think you cried for both reasons … and tis nothing to be ashamed of.

  2. Hugs lovely. What a beautiful post x

  3. Your mom seems like such a special lady, and I’m so sad I didn’t get the chance to know her. But I’m glad to know the lovely woman she helped shape 🙂

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