becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

yesterday’s bench is today’s ow.

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i bought a beautiful desk off a friend yesterday. it’s huge. and made of wood. and since we’re both ambitious and a little stubborn, my advisor and i moved it by ourselves. from her truck to my house and then up a flight of stairs and down the hall to my room. my advisor is smaller than i am; how we accomplished this is beyond me.

and then i went to the gym for mini-PT and a chest/back lift. awesome bench; super-sore today. but i’ve made a ton of progress just in the past four weeks since i’ve been back in lexington, so i’m excited about that.

rebuilding my quad continues to be a bear. i got smoked in PT on friday – in a good way – and i have another session tomorrow. i’m doing a lot of my body weight exercises – split squats, lunges, step-ups – with a 20-lb. weighted vest on (super-sexy look, by the way). i know i’m performing things i couldn’t do even two weeks ago. yet my quad itself doesn’t seem to be growing, and my weight hasn’t budged an ounce. to say i’m frustrated is an epic understatement.

i keep reminding myself that i need to stay focused, keep thinking about my main goal: to run again. our tentative start date for a walk-jog series on the treadmill was late august. that gives me two weeks to make some serious muscle gains. i’m eating tuna and cottage cheese like it’s leaving the earth, and just in general i’m fighting to eat more and not freak out about the weight gain. i’m still significantly under my pre-op weight, and i need to keep reminding myself that.

so i’m going to just keep on plugging away, eating tuna and cottage cheese (not together) and doing lots of lunges and squats and step-ups and hamstring curls. it’ll get better.

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Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

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