becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

in case you haven’t heard – i’m gay.


“oh i have a lesbian friend! here, let me show you her picture! i can give her your number if you want!”

…yes, that’s exactly what i want. because she and i are clearly the ONLY TWO LESBIANS left on earth.

“so…what’s it like when YOU [insert sexual act here].”

…the same as when you do it/have it done to you? no secrets here, folks. lesbians’ bodies are constructed juuuuuust like straight womens’ bodies. same equipment, i promise. and if you’re asking me this and you’re not an extremely close friend or relative, chances are i’m going to stare at you and then make an awkward comment about the weather. even if we’re inside.

“how many women have you been with?”

…how many men/women have YOU been with, foo’? if i tell you i’ve been with ‘too many’ then i’m a dirty lesbo slut; if i tell you i’ve been with ‘too few’ then this ensues:

“you’ve only been with X women?! are you sure you’re a lesbian?”

…no actually i’ve known since i was ten. i have no moral objection or reluctance towards sex. but for me, i need to completely trust somebody before i would even consider having sex with them. so just because i haven’t slept with a bunch of women, does not make me any ‘less’ of a lesbian. it just means i haven’t slept with a bunch of women. whatever your definition of ‘a bunch’ may be. but it can’t be too many, because…well, see previous bullet point. and this question and the previous one also fall into the category of ‘you had better be a damn good friend before you say this to me.’

from women: “do you think i’m hot?”

…why does it matter? shocking as it may seem, i don’t lust over every woman i come into contact with – just like i’m sure you don’t lust over every guy YOU see. so more than likely, i have not until this very moment even considered how attractive i deem you to be. and i will never, ever answer this question when it’s asked.

“i’m sort of bi/i have gay friends/i made out with a girl once.”

…do you like pizza? running? broadway musicals? sudoku puzzles? because i love all of those things, and i bet you love at least one of them too. we have lots more in common than the fact that i like women and you do/did/know somebody who does. being gay is one teeeeny tiny part of a whole lot of jenn. and it’s not even remotely close to the most interesting part. so please, don’t get hung up on it.

{this post brought to you by a little bit of pent up annoyance. i can’t believe i just wrote half of that. i’ll be mortified later.}


Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

12 thoughts on “in case you haven’t heard – i’m gay.

  1. You know what’s funny, I may not be a lesbian, but one of my parents is, and I get the same kind of reactions like “well, i once was friends with this guy who was gay….” i usually respond with: “neat.”

    • BAHAHAHA. yea in my head i always say, “cool story, bro.” a genuine reason i don’t drink around people i don’t know is because my filter would shut off and i would say things like that out loud.

  2. You and I are different in SO MANY ways……and you know what? I can say the EXACT same thing about every single blogger I follow here. But I won’t stop reading about your journey to get stronger. We can still encourage each other in the areas that DO pertain to our lives. There have already been SO many things I have blogged about that is extremely personal to me…and I will be standing in the middle of the grocery store, run into someone who read my post that morning,…they’ll speak of it and then it will hit me….did I actually share that?? Oh my gosh, what was I thinking?? Ba ha ha…fun times!

    • haha exactly – some of my family reads my blog from time to time, and after i posted this i thought…”did i really just talk about sex? on the internet? for my family to read?” granted i’m 28 years old…but still lol. awkward turtle.

  3. THANK YOU! I actually had a life-long friend decide to cut contact with me when she found out (which is ironic, because everyone knew before I did… except her) because she was afraid I would come on to her. How freaking SPESHUL she must feel! That of allllll the women in the world, I would focus on her the moment my born-gay self would come out to her! I mean, I hadn’t once come on to her in the 29 years prior to this moment, but now that the words had left my mouth… this clearly activates the lesboian-hormones which are CLEARLY directed toward her. *SMH*

    • Ignore the typos. Chemo-brain has entered the building. Ut-oh, I hope that doesn’t mean I’ll transmit my chemo to anyone who isn’t on chemo. XcP

    • i always want to ask those girls, ‘do you think that every straight guy you pass is going to try and come on to you?’ and then i realize that they really might BE that narcissistic, and i’m not sure how i would handle the ensuing situation. so i just nod and smile lol.

  4. This. All of this!

  5. I won’t lie…I read your blog regularly and I may sort of kind of have a little girl crush on you. Just saying.

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