becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

welcome back to campus – now get the hell off my bench.


freshman move-in was yesterday. our previously ghost town-like campus i now started to fill up. and while it’s nice to see some life buzzing through the streets, with it comes the requisite Beginning of the Year Gym Mobs.

i try not to get too frustrated, because i was a newbie here/to the gym once, too. but there are some ground rules i would just like to lay out to all the new folks entering our facility:

  • if you’re benching with a friend…use ONE bench for the both of you. ONE. we have six for the entire facility. you and your pal are in essence completely wasting one of them because you’re each using your own, yet only one of you is lifting at a time. it may not be the most convenient thing to re-rack your buddy’s weights and throw your own on the bar after you’re done spotting him, but it opens up a bench for the rest of us. since the weight floor is at the moment crawling like a testosterone-driven ant farm.
  • if you move one of the benches to one of the smith machines to work…put it back. just…put it the eff back.
  • the benches aren’t for step-ups. that’s why we have plyo boxes. i don’t want a dirt outline of your nike sole on my ass when i sit down to do shoulder presses.
  • we have about a gazillion point two gym wipe containers stationed throughout the facility. use them. and to the girl who got off the stationary bike today, grabbed your stuff, and just walked away: i was shooting so much disgusted stank eye at your back i’m surprised it didn’t singe your shirt.
  • things like re-racking your weights and not spitting in the water fountain are non-negotiable.

i started to write a really insightful post about recovery, and i ended up bitching about morons at the gym instead. typical. i regret nothing.


Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

4 thoughts on “welcome back to campus – now get the hell off my bench.

  1. Hilarious! I needed this laugh tonight. I’m glad school is back here because the high school wrestling and football boys will be gone in the mornings…they get mad when I easily out lift them. I have a LOT of weight to shed but I’m strong. Why do even the grown men take my strength as a personal insult? Get over yourself already boys.

    • LOL! by now i know all of the guys who regularly lift in the 6am crew, and they’re fantastic. but the swarms of new people are driving me crazy right about now – it will peter out in a few weeks, so i just have to wait it out!

  2. Here’s the thing about the college weight room, and I remember it well. For a lot of guys college is the first time you have ever been in a gym. So they don’t know how to work out, but the bigger issue at 19 or so is getting YOU (girl) to look at ME (overconfident young oaf). I had the discussion with one of buddies once at that age:

    “If we take up both of the benches, that girl will have to come and talk to us to ask to work in. Then we can spot her and she will be impressed, if not overwhelmed, by our bulging muscles and rippling abs.”

    Needless to say there were many crash course lessons in appropriate girl approaching over the years.

    • OMG i just laughed out loud, seriously. well i feel enlightened by this, anyway! i probably came across as incredibly unapproachable anyway – my eyes were saying ‘if you even make a move towards this bench i waited 20 minutes for, i will tear you jugular out.’ or something along those lines haha.

      M-F i work out at 6am though so this isn’t a problem. weekends are a whole different story! but i will keep this in mind next time. : )

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