becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

maybe i should concentrate on the road a little more while i’m driving.

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because really, i seem to do a lot of thinking on my commute to and from campus. i’m just going to chalk it up to the absurd number of stop lights i sit through, though. anyway –

i had what i suppose would be considered a “normal” day. got up, had breakfast. was at the gym by 5:55. did some cardio, and today was shoulders – had a good lift, showered, threw on jeans and a t-shirt and was at the office at about a quarter to nine. did a ton of work between then and my 12:30 staff meeting – made copies of tomorrow’s quiz, made my key for said quiz, wrote out my lesson plan, went over my reading for jazz class, and prepped next week’s exam and key. got some coffee.

we had our staff meeting, i went for a run, and then i had class until six. headed back to the gym and taught a 7pm yoga class that was packed and fabulous.

as i was driving home i realized: i’m going to be okay. yes, the past year has been awful. i miss my mom, still, every day, and i always will. and then everything with k. but then i look at a day like today…i was productive, i laughed a LOT, i felt wholly comfortable and loved. and i realize that i’m going to be just fine. i can stand on my own two feet. i have support here. i’m slowly re-learning what it’s like to be single again. i downgraded my phone plan; i stopped daydreaming about wedding dresses and baby bumps; i’m allowing myself to be okay with being alone.

Maybe you and me got lost somewhere
We can’t move or we can’t stay here
Well, maybe we’ve just had enough
Well, maybe we ain’t meant for this love

You and me tried everything
But still that mockingbird won’t sing
Well man, this life seems hard enough
Well, maybe we ain’t meant for this love


Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

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