becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

rumor has it there was a weekend in there somewhere.

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it’s sunday night and i am, as i find myself every sunday night, gazing around wondering where the heck the weekend went and when exactly it is that i get to have one of those lazy, relaxing days off i’ve heard glorious tales about.

i fly home a week from today. so i really only need to make it through friday and i’m home free and get a glorious six days home. yes, i will be bringing work with me – to the tune of two major papers and presentations that need doing – but it will be a relief to mix things up a bit. get out of my routine (i can’t believe i’m saying that!), get a change of location, see my family oh my gosh i am SO excited!

it was an emotional week. i tore through some scar tissue in my knee on monday. in the long run that’s actually a good thing – my knee’s looser and more flexible now – but it jostled things around in there and for the first 18 hours or so i was in the worst pain i’ve been in since the month of my surgery. and it was touch and go all week, really. even today, i dialed back my pace and distance for my run just in case. my legs felt a little wonky and my tendonitis was slightly flared up, but the knee felt okay so i’ll take it!

having that moment of “oh my god, did i do something permanent? do i need surgery again?” was terrifying. my advisor walked into our office monday morning to find me sitting on the piano bench icing my knee and sobbing – partially from pain, but mostly out of sheer panic. i have worked my tail off for the past 6+ months to bounce back from this surgery, and i would be devastated if something went seriously wrong at this stage in the game.

so today i am grateful. grateful that i didn’t jack my knee up again, for starters! but grateful that even though i’m not yet back to my “old” self, i’ve come a long way. and i’m learning to listen to my body when it tells me something’s wrong. i’m learning that taking it easy today because i want to be able to run ten years from now is okay. i don’t have to be 100% gung-ho 100% of the time.

and i’m grateful for these, because they’re delicious and are half the reason i get anywhere near my protein intake on any given day. i credit them with the 105# bench i posted today. and the 125# squat i’m determined to push tomorrow. yes, my squat and bench are only 20 pounds apart. cut me a break, i’m still gimpy.


Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

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