becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

if i could grant you just one wish.


my mom died a year ago today. she died late at night, although we’re not sure exactly when because my dad was asleep and didn’t find her until she was already gone. the coroner’s TOD is listed as 11:00pm – that’s when they got there and declared her deceased.

i actually didn’t find out until the next morning, when my dad called.

a year ago this time, my mom was still alive. i had seen her on the 3rd, we hugged and cried a little bit as i left to go spend a few days in CT with k before flying back to lexington. we e-mailed back and forth a few times that day and the next two. the last e-mail i sent was around dinner time on the 5th. it’s said simply: “love you!!”

i don’t know if she ever got it, because within a few hours she was gone.

i have much more to say. i have something exciting to show everyone. but right now everything just feels mixed up and backwards and sad.


Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

6 thoughts on “if i could grant you just one wish.

  1. I wanted you to know that you have been on my mind all day. I knew today was the day and I wasn’t sure how to approach the subject. I love you very much, and please call if you need anything.

  2. Tough memories. I’m sure your mom knew you loved her..with or without seeing the email. 🙂 Moms are special that way.

    • : ) thank you. we used to fight like cats and dogs, for quite a few years, and our relationship got really strong starting the end of my junior year of college. i regret all of the fighting, but i’m so glad we had those really close years at the end of her life.

  3. Lub you. Keep your head up. I’m sure that she’d like to know you’re doing well. Heck, maybe she does know that. Because you’re pretty darn amazing girl.

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