becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

recap and precap.


in a nutshell: my grandmother passed away on friday and i have had zero interest in the internet machine. on thursday i wrote her what i knew was going to be the last letter i would ever send. i mailed it to her, but also emailed it to my uncle, who read it to her that night, because we were pretty sure she wouldn’t make it until it arrived on saturday.

we were correct.

i have cried so much since thursday that my eyelashes have been falling out.

my uncle asked if i would speak at the funeral, which is next friday.

i’m driving home on tuesday.

i have a race tomorrow and it’s supposed to be a complete washout but i don’t care. i’ll run in a monsoon. i need to just lace up and go.

i’ll be back, and i might even write something coherent and possibly witty or thought-provoking. but right now i’m going to cry some more of my eyelashes out as i head to bed for my early race-time tomorrow.


Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

7 thoughts on “recap and precap.

  1. *leaves All The Hugs* I am so sorry, Jenn. When Nana died, it was weird because it was a month after her birthday and on her birthday, I bought one of those silly, goofy cards and when I sat down to write something silly in it, I was hit with this need to tell her how much she meant to me, how much I loved her, and what an inspiration she had been to me. She passed away and then Hurricane Ivan destroyed their house. The only thing in-tact was that card, laying on top of a pile of debris. It wasn’t even dirty.

    Your grandmother knows you wrote her, and she knows what she said, even if the way she got the message wasn’t via the USPS. I am so glad you got to spend some time with her recently.

    I cried my eyelashes out, too. It’s so hard. But it does get easier, slowly, slowly. Though I don’t think that void ever totally goes away. And I wish it did. I wish I could bring her back for you.

    Love you.

    • *and she knows what WAS said, rather.

    • ❤ thank you. i'm so glad i was able to see her one last time, even if it was in the hospital. a lot of the family coming for the funeral, i haven't seen since mom's. and we're having it at the same place – small town lol – so it'll be a bit deva ju-like. she'll be very missed!

  2. Sorry to hear of your loss. Enjoy the run, wet as it may be, it sounds like just what you need.

  3. 😦 i’m sorry for your loss.

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