becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

we are here.

4 Comments

we are here to drink beer
laugh at the odds
and live our lives so well that
death will tremble to take us.

-charles bukowski

 

the past few weeks i have really, truly felt as if i am living well. i just finished up my last semester of doctoral coursework. i have two good, strong plans for what to do once i pass my quals in the fall. my transition from post-meet to a new, high-volume training cycle has made me feel awesome, physically and mentally.

i laugh a lot.

i go out for burgers and pizza with friends.

i do a little dance before i make a big lift because this sport is fun, darn it!

sometimes i look around and i’m amazed. all those years buried by an eating disorder, and all of the years of restrictive “healthy” eating and vigilant “healthy” exercise veiled as recovery…i can’t believe i was missing out on all of this. last saturday my friend stopped me after i got done training and said, “hey wanna go grab a burger?” and we went and sat at the bar and had burgers and fries and i laughed so hard that i lost my voice.

six years ago my greatest concern was maintaining my thigh gap and burning a minimum of 750 calories on the cardio machines every morning before class. now every day i wake up just wanting to be a better version of myself than i was the day before. i still work hard at the gym, but it’s a different focus, a different energy. i’m an athlete; i love that and i own it.

i’m turning 30 in two weeks and i finally feel like i am living life well, living it fully and the way it ought to be lived. i’m healthy and strong and i’ll always be a work in progress but dammit i am living.

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Author: jenn

impossible to define; indefinitely impossible. maybe i'll add more here later.

4 thoughts on “we are here.

  1. Great post. I can just “see” your happiness!

    • aw thanks!! i think everyone around me can lately! still need to get you out here to lexngton/lousiville to race before i move! : )

      • when do you move???? and wherever you move to, i’ll just run a race there too!

      • i’m moving within lex next month, but i have another year (so until may-ish) on my teaching contract. i’m applying for a fellowship until the following may but who knows if i’ll get it

        RUN THE DERBY NEXT SPRING. it’s a half. super flat and fast. you get to run thru churchill. and i’ll take you climbing at UK’s indoor rock wall that weekend!!

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