becoming infinite

always learning. always growing. always lifting heavy things.

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All But Done!

as of this past monday, i am officially ABD. (which really stands for All But Dissertation, but All But Done works just as well…) passing my qualifying exams was the goal of this semester. i put training on the back burner; for the first time in my teaching career i wrote lesson plans the day of instead of the day or weekend before; i took advantage of the fact that we have no “official” dress code and my students have thus now seen me in jeans.

but it was all worth it because i passed and am one step closer to my PhD.

and now that it’s november and i can breathe a little, i can also sit back and reflect on what has gone down the past few months.

first off, i started dating this lovely lady (see below) in july. one of our favorite things to do together is acro yoga. i started out as our base but we were getting nowhere; one day we randomly switched and in five minutes i was up and in bow.


this was day 2 of us messing around with me flying.

10405430_10101934463706025_3197186026047467459_nlast week or so? upside down bow. when i’m standing i feel like a very stout brick-human; here somehow i look like a spider monkey.


can’t win ’em all!

besides that…training is going well. we’re continuing to un-yuck my squat technique. on halloween we worked up to a single at 225, did 3×2 at 185, and then closed with a widowmaker at 155. and then i tried to not puke or cry:


my advisor instructed me to take this week off. no worrying about my dissertation, my proposal, next year’s fellowship…just relax. and i have been and it’s been great. i’m teaching 5 yoga classes a week plus i’m in the middle of a four-week workshop i’m running on yoga for athletes. i just booked my flight to see my dad for christmas, and the girl is meeting me in fort lauderdale for new year’s. i’m spending thanksgiving with her and her family.

sometime this week i want to come back and spruce this blog up. change the URL, maybe reorganize the pages, get some training videos up. i’ve got a instagram nowadays – @jenncanliftyou – if you want more photos of my silly faces and flexing and random acro things.

life is good. really good. maybe i didn’t get here quite the way i would have liked, but i’m really really content.



change and things.

life is crazy. busy and stressful and insane and wonderful.

the semester has started; i’m teaching two sophomore classes. the faculty member i’m working under for one of them is a lot of fun and super laid-back. my adviser is on sabbatical this term so while i miss her intensely, she has gifted me her office as an office/study space in her absence. and it’s a beautiful thing.

my seizures have been out. of. control. these exams need to be over so they’ll hopefully settle down.

i moved. i’m sharing a house with three other people. i’m a 5-minute walk from my office and a 3-minute walk from a coffee shop, a fro-yo place, and a liquor store. aka i have moved to heaven.


10394511_10101746354408565_8498642638783457684_ni bought a bike. she’s fun.

i squat 275 with wraps last week. and then two days later i pulled 285 for six triples. i’m competing in two weeks, just for shits and giggles, and then our big meet is in december. if i can cut to a 56kg and not lose any strength i can put a serious scare in the national deadlift record.

i’m seeing someone. and it’s fucking spectacular. we’ve known one another for a few years, peripherally, and we started hanging out this summer. she’s somethin’. it’s a new relationship but i’ve got a good feeling about it. it’s relaxed. i laugh more with her than with anybody, outside of maybe my college best friend. we take things one day at a time. and today, things are awesome. hopefully tomorrow they will be, too.

my first qualifying exam is in 19 days. it’s my non-area exam but it has been eating up all of my study time lately. i think i’ll be fine. i have tons of outlines, i just need to commit them to something of a working narrative in my memory. then once that’s over i have exactly one month until my 8 hours of area exams.

this is a hurdle, a rite of passage. i’ll do well, but not without some tears and fits and  lot of caffeine, i’m sure.

this blog…i don’t know what i want to do with it. i have a new phone and i make training videos a lot now. i want to make a training-specific blog, especially now that i’m getting my technique de-bugged and starting to get more confident in my lifts.

we’ll see. it’s a process. everything is a process. change is inevitable. sometimes it sucks but damn sometimes it’s awesome.


i’m writing this from hell.

no, really.

this new training cycle? it better make me jacked. or ripped. or look like DLB. or run a sub-45:00 10k in july. or something. because i am so unbelievably sore.

first off, since i won’t be maxing/lifting heavy singles for the next 8 weeks, dumbass here figured, ‘let’s max my squat and deadlift on sunday!’

pro tip: don’t do that in your life ever.

(as a side note, my squat 1RM is 130# (barf) and my deadlift is 205#. i failed my first attempt at 205, and got super riled for the second one. unlike my 200# pull from a few months ago – which was ugly and technically illegal due to some serious hitching/ramping – this one was clean and i even held it at the top for a few seconds after i locked out. i probably had a 210 or 215 in me, but i called it a day.)

it goes without saying that i felt like i got hit by a bus yesterday morning. and yesterday i also started my new training cycle. lighter weights, high volume. i did chest and bis/tris.

today was metcons and hill sprints. all while feeling like my pecs and anterior delts were falling off due to yesterday.

i have since died and am writing this from hell.

also – i went to the doctor yesterday because i had this skin tag that had suddenly started to look funny. she just lopped it off, and then it proceeded to not stop bleeding. and now i have a hole in my boob. and i benched after that haha.

i am in possession of the scores to all 9 beethoven symphonies, and recordings of all but nos. 4 and 7 (the CD didn’t work – boooo). heading home now to get down to business.

also, windstream is incompetent and i won’t have internet until next friday. i don’t even know.

this has been a post.


all my excites; all my grumps.

i’m writing this post while sitting in barnes and noble. on friday afternoon. so yes, it’s queued. more on that later.

all my excites!

  • the semester is over!! i had a great semester, really – fantastic students, good coursework that wasn’t too extremely difficult, and i learned a lot about various things (teaching, research, academic bureaucracy).
  • it’s summer!! which means lots of things for me, all of which give me excites:
    • it’s the summer of the symphony. i have 18 months until quals, and this summer is dedicated in part to learning the major symphonies. all of beethoven, the major mozart and haydns, brahms, MAHLER!!, sibelius, dvorak, stravinsky, tchaik, prokofiev…score study and listening, come at me!
    • i just bought a cookbook on clearance for 2 dollars. i’m going to continue to not eat PB&J every day, guys!
    • revamped training and programming, which i talked about earlier this week. i made a training plan for the bluegrass 10,000 which is relatively low volume (max 23 miles/week) and has 800s instead of mile repeats. i’m also adding in hill repeats once a week, either after tempo runs or in place of them haha. since we know how i feel about tempo runs! i’m also committing to metcons twice a week, volume lifts over maxes, and all in all getting pumped to shock the system and do work!
    • sun sun sun i cannot wait for sun!! (yes i wear sunscreen. i have 3 gnarly scars from a melanoma/pre-melanoma issue several years back. but still…vitamin d!!)
  • i have a hair appointment in an hour. i love my hairdresser.

all my grumps!

  • i submitted a request to windstream to get interwebs. on april 20th. “we’ll be in contact in 48 hours,” they sez. “if you don’t hear from us, call us,” they sez. two days go by and so i call. “you submitted your request on a saturday,” they sez. “you have to give us 48 hours of WEEKDAY hours,” they sez. “call back wednesday,” they sez. wednesday i call. “the soonest we can get somebody there is may 3rd,” they sez. i huff but agree. today (may 3rd) i call in the morning, juuuust to be sure. “oh we had to cancel that,” they sez. “WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME?!” i sez. “…” they sez.
  • the regional manager was supposed to call me to give me an ETA on my interwebs. it’s 5pm on friday and i have gotten no call. i’ll go ahead and assume i won’t hear anything until monday, and only then if i’m extremely lucky. until then…web-less.
  • i’m working on regaining flexibility (boo, surgery) and the last couples of degrees of flexion in my knee. the joint isn’t stopping me; it’s my damn gastroc head that keeps seizing. so every morning after i finish lifting, i’ve been forcing my sorry self to sit on my heels for 1-3 minutes. it sucks. but it’s starting to suck less. but i’m super sore for the rest of the day. ::grump, grump::
  • my credit card bill is going to be out of control this month due to this godforsaken surprise move across town. like…out of control. plus my tuition bill just hit (yes, in the last week of the semester. go cats.) granted i’ve got full funding so i only pay a couple of hundred every semester for mandatory fees and things…but it’s a couple hundred on top of all the shit necessities i got for my new place.

now i’m going to go purchase my 2$ cookbook and chat up the guys at complete nutrition, which is right next door to my salon. because it’s the first friday of summer and that’s how i roll.


a box of chocolates post.

  • caramel chew: wednesday is speedwork. this week was mile repeats. 3 x 1600 with 800 jogs in between. warm-up and cool-down gave me six miles total. goal pace for the 1600s was 7:04. i was on a fancy shmancy new treadmill – cool – whose belt timing was drastically different from my ole reliable dinosaur treadmill – not so cool. so i spent the first two 1600s derping around trying to figure out where the hell my 7:04 actually was, since my garmin-reported pace is always extremely different from the treadmill-reported pace. end result being my splits were all between three and ten seconds too slow. lamesauce. but despite this workout being hard as hell…i muscled through and felt like a beast afterward.
  • cashew cluster: monday brought me a 195# deadlift. on tired legs that had run a 10-miler the day before. that’s just nuts.
  • cherry cordial: my PT did soft tissue work on my hip flexor tuesday. which involved getting the sh!t scraped out of my hip socket with something resembling a dwarfed ice scraper. and while, yes, my hip felt a million times better and pain-free afterward…i now have a grapefruit-sized bruise that looks like a brown-green watercolor splash. why a cherry cordial? because while it felt good for a quick second…it was way too much of a good thing.
  • vermont fudge: i talked to my dissertation advisor about how burnt out i feel. she immediately came up with some ideas to help me feel (a) motivated and excited, (b) less like i’m going to fail at life, and (c) more like myself (aka the person who really likes being in this field). the sweetest.
  • the chocolate messenger boy: the w-2 that my dad mailed me three weeks ago, which we assumed had been lost in the mail, suddenly and randomly arrived. three weeks to go from daytona to lexington. and it arrived looking like it had been brought via carrier pigeon in a monsoon.
  • toffee chip: this one is my favorite. you know what else is my favorite? laughing. and smiling. and just generally feeling happy. and i have this week. a lot. it’s divine.